In life, I have learned you can know too much about a noun (person, place or thing). For example, I was on the verge of saying "yes" to a marriage proposal. This guy was someone that I trusted and knew for over 25 years. He was the guy that sat beside me on the bus in high school and we would laugh and talk every day. I never knew my best guy friend would one day fall in love with me and wanted to propose in high school. The word traveled that my prom date proposed to me and I didn't accept his proposal. So, my guy friend (best friend to me) never proposed to me before I left for college. Honestly speaking, I thought I was too young for any marriage proposal but it would have been nice to at least known he liked me that much. Knowing that I guy liked you was just a girl high school thing.
Well, fast forward 20 some years after high school and my sister ran into my guy friend from high school and next thing you know we were dating. He had been married before but was divorced. So, one ex wife and three children later he was looking to marry again. This time it was my time and I was on the verge of accepting his proposal. I did take the engagement ring without saying yes. I told him that I wanted to think about it before I truly accepted and said yes. Prior to my ultimate decision, I ran into my cousin and she invited us to dinner. At dinner, my cousin shared her personal story of how she was married to a con artist. She said she had children by him and she never knew he was solely after her money. My cousin didn't know we were contemplating marriage so our conversation wasn't premeditated at all. My cousin proceeded to tell me that you need to find out three things on a man before you get married. She said I need to see his bank account, his credit score and do a criminal background check. My guy friend was a proud man and he proceeded (right at the dinner table) to boast that I should check everything about him. He even wrote his social security number on a napkin and slide it across the table making sure my cousin saw the proud act.
After dinner, I told him that it wasn't necessary to check on him because he told me that he never changed and I believed him. He was my friend for over 20 years and he told me everything. Well, at least I thought he told me everything. My guy friend continued to persist and demand me to check on him. I didn't need to check his bank account because I knew he was a country guy that took odd jobs in order to pay bills. I was okay knowing my income was much higher than his income. I didn't need to check his credit because he did tell me that he was paying off a lot of items after his divorce. And, I always knew that we would work through his credit issues when we become husband and wife. I did check his criminal record and found out that he had two assaults on female charges. When I told him what came back, he was angry that I found out because he said the judge told him that they were going to expunge his records. In this situation, knowing too much was too much but I needed to know it!
Of course, I returned his engagement ring and we never spoke again. I was so upset because of his anger of me finding out. Especially when I didn't want to check and just knowing that he was keeping a secret from me and I was just 2 minutes away from telling him that I would marry him. I was so angry and I couldn't figure out if I was more upset with him hiding a lie or if I was upset with my sister because she told me that he wouldn't have hurt me. She was basing her warped ideology on knowing my guy friend for over 20 years. She said that I was always able to get him to stop being upset and he wouldn't harm me. I saw from my sister's statements that she was more interested in me getting married instead of supporting my safety. Even knowing my sister's thoughts were a little too much as well. In life, you have to be able to accept the truth and live with knowing too much.
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